Of Molecular Turtles and Other Oddities

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Of Morons and Other Oddities

It’s been a couple of long and hectic weeks hence the lack of a posts in the last week but I really would like to thank everyone for their birthday wishes. A few of you wanted to know how I essentially got by without a birth certificate and the short answer is that I filled out some forms, got other people to fill out forms, showed proof I was baptised in Canada and then got issued one.

Now I could (bore)regale you with stories of woe and peril from work but I thought I would (save you the boredom)hold you in suspense. Instead I will share an experience from my weekend. The most memorable part of the weekend had to be spending it with the Pie but not only because she’s fabulous, but because her roommate, Turdington, is a moron. You see, she had asked Pie if she could have a few people over for the evening since it was her birthday. Pie, being the gem that she is said okay and was even nice enough to say that a couple of people could stay over as long as they were not obnoxious. Pie, then went to work and I read and watched some T.V in her room. Her adorable little cat made it’s way out of the room and I decided to go get something to drink and waded through the crowd of about 15-20 people to find one of the them locking the cat in its cage and teasing/poking it. At this point I wanted to confront th individual but I thought it may make the Pie’s living situation worse than it would be upon her return. I then took the cat and spent the night holed up in her room.

The crowd decided to leave at some point to hit up a club which just so happened to be shortly before I went to pick up the Pie. Upon my emerging from the room the place was a total disaster, I cleaned up a little bit so that the Pie would not have to wade through peoples crap and went to pick her up. Upon our return the pie was upset due to the state of things but we still managed to spend some time together and catch up on the week’s events.

Fast forward to 3 a.m when Turdington stumbles in with her friend, boyfriend and 2 other (pricks)young males. They spend several minutes shouting and saying things like the Pie can go fuck herself and suck a dick. The reasons for this were and still remain unknown as we happened to be asleep and had not interacted with them. This was said by one of the (pricks) young males several times. My underestimate is approximately 50 times with Turdington doing little if anything to quite them down. When we think that perhaps they have quieted down the one prick young man starts pounding on the roommate’s door telling her b/f to “murder” her repeatedly. They later start pounding on the door asking about a cab that was supposed to come. The cab eventually comes and they leave at 4: 30 a.m, leaving the door open in the middle of the night in the process.

However, they returned at 6:45 a.m pounding at the door screaming why the f the door is locked. They continue this for a long period of time before the roommate decides to let them in. At one point the cat gets out of the room and the one (prick)young man yells kill it. This leads the pie to rush out and grab the cat and confine it again to the room. Later around 9 a.m the roommate runs into Pie and Pie tells Turdington that she’s not happy with the way things were and the one guy is an idiot. He the(prick)young man and they leave. I was forbidden from interacting with the intruders as it was thought that this might result in an escalation of matters (this was indeed a good idea).

So as you can imagine both myself and Pie are very tired. These events lead me to ask you folks some questions that might have interesting answers. Do you or your friends find yourself hurting or plotting the death of small animals when you get drunk? How do you act when your drunk, myself I tend to smile and laugh more but have never wanted to kill a cat. What can one do when their roommate brings home idiots? What is the worst thing you’ve done while drunk? Do you tend to spend time with people like this? At what age is one to old to have friends like that? When did murder become a synonym for sex? When they guy yelled out that he was going to kill the cat did that mean he was going to have sex with it or maybe just go to thirdbase? Why the heck do I say one so often?

On another note what the heck is with this stall in the bowling alley I went to yesterday? Could there possibly be a good reason to have both a stall and toilet beside one another? Perhaps it has something to do with male bonding.

20 Comments:

At 2:52 PM, Blogger Nicole said...

That some very strange male bonding behavior, I have to say.

Like you, I would have escalated that heinous roomate situation. Actually, I wouldn't mind smacking those guys right upside the head. Grrr.

 
At 3:12 PM, Blogger Demara From Yokoso~ said...

wow! perhaps they feel that you can't possibly pee and go number two at the same time 'cause that would be multi-tasking...haha...so this place thinks you have to have one for each or something...I guess it COULD keep the bathroom's toilet potentionally cleaner?

WOW what an event you had there at that birthday! That's too bad man...let's see those were a lot of questions too you asked but me?

Well let's see I only was drunk once in my life...and go figure but it was with Bible School friends...I had just turned 18..legal age in Alberta to drink so at a New year's party I tried stuff...but you know NO ONE told me you shouldn't mix...oops...I though was a HAPPY one, I wouldn't stop laughing! I have seen and heard the stupid stories of drunkeness...and I in my "old age" (I guess) and my relationship with God persuade me to steer away from that type of a crowd as much as possible so that I don't get weighed down by the immorality of it all...I mean I try to obey my Father, Creator, and the one who loves me more than any other, the one who loves you more than any other! Why waste time living a diluted life? I mean...what I mean by diluted here is that I think excessive drinking kills brain cells right? amongst other harmful things to your body...so I know I sure don't want to dilute my brain cells and become a vegetable. If you know what I mean?

Bottom line: It's better to be drunk in the Spirit, God's Spirit, than any manly made alcoholic beverage could ever make you.

Revelation 17:3
In the Spirit he carried me out in the desert. I saw a woman mounted on a Scarlet Beast. Stuffed with blasphemies, the Beast had seven heads and ten horns. The woman was dressed in purple and scarlet, festooned with gold and gems and pearls. She held a gold chalice in her hand, brimming with defiling obscenities, her foul fornications. A riddle-name was branded on her forehead: great babylon, mother of whores and abominations of the earth. I could see that the woman was drunk, drunk on the blood of God's holy people, drunk on the blood of the martyrs of Jesus.

Isaiah 57:15
A Message from the high and towering God, who lives in Eternity, whose name is Holy: "I live in the high and holy places, but also with the low-spirited, the spirit-crushed, And what I do is put new spirit in them, get them up and on their feet again. For I'm not going to haul people into court endlessly, I'm not going to be angry forever. Otherwise, people would lose heart. These souls I created would tire out and give up. I was angry, good and angry, because of Israel's sins. I struck him hard and turned away in anger, while he kept at his stubborn, willful ways. When I looked again and saw what he was doing, I decided to heal him, lead him, and comfort him, creating a new language of praise for the mourners. Peace to the far-off, peace to the near-at-hand," says God— "and yes, I will heal them. But the wicked are storm-battered seas that can't quiet down. The waves stir up garbage and mud. There's no peace," God says, "for the wicked."

 
At 3:33 PM, Anonymous God's Blog said...

(Oh and MT I thought this chapter I posted on today's post about silence answers a few of your questions...

Like God wants to answer your questions for you too...cool hey?

If you're interested...the link to His Word is above at a Bible website...consider it God's Blog...haha...this link opens up in The Message version of the Bible that I find SO EASY TO UNDERSTAND! Demara)If it doesn't work there..here it is too...http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Hab%202;&version=65;

 
At 3:56 PM, Blogger Library Mama said...

How long has Pie lived with this person? It's not really up to me to give advice, but she may want to try to make this a very short-term arrangement. How thoughtless can one person be?

Rescue her, Turtle.

 
At 5:15 PM, Blogger Nikki P. said...

8 months. She's gone at the end of the month but will return for her second semester starting January 2008.

Also, that toilet (in the bigger version of the picture) also seems to have poo in it.

Gross.

 
At 6:17 PM, Blogger Shionge said...

How revolting to behave this way I am shocked to hear this and sorry you & Pie have to go through this.

Hmmmm...interesting pix was wondering if anyone could do Big & Small Business at the same time though :)

 
At 7:19 PM, Blogger Justmee said...

Sorry, but I would have knocked the little idiot right out. I would have risked any after math from the Pie or the room-mate. No way would I have allowed any of this non sense too go on, especially if someone I love is being insulted. And the cat bit... so would have thrown me over the edge. Personally I think the room-mate has spoken at one time badly about the Pie or the idiots wouldn't have felt compelled too call out all those nasty comments. Sorry you both had a not so good weekend. Here's wishing you a better week. Happy Be-lated Birthday Turtle Man!

 
At 10:24 PM, Blogger Coaster Punchman said...

If I were Pie I would find a different roommate to move in for January 2008. Perhaps you, Turtle.

And your series of questions at the end would make for a good meme. Maybe I'll start it.

 
At 6:58 AM, Blogger Dino aka Katy said...

mhh when drunk I tend to smile and be peaceful - never had the urge to hurt small animals (ants and spiders aside) as for the room mate - I'd go looking for another one ASAP

 
At 11:19 AM, Blogger Nikki P. said...

I'd love to not live there with her next year, except that I was the one nice enough to tell her my apartment had a room free.
For that reason I feel I have first dibs!

Justmee is right in all likelihood.
It's absolutely retarded how you can be the perfect roommate (ask MT how many times I've actually complained or bitched at her, even when she deserved it; NONE until this happened) and still get no respect.

 
At 7:40 PM, Blogger Blue the Spa Girl said...

Oh God you poor people.
First of all, roommates suck. Live alone or get married. But don't share accomodations with a "friend".
I am soo sorry to hear that you and Pie had to put up with that bullshit. My thoughts are with you.
xo
p.s. When drunk, I sing loud, dance alot, and hug everyone! Cats are also safe in my presence. xo

 
At 2:03 AM, Blogger Demara From Yokoso~ said...

MT...I just thought you might like to know that I added a photo of you to my sidebar...I hope you don't mind!

 
At 4:07 AM, Anonymous LaLa said...

Fuckers.

Even though I am a chick I can get pretty fired up and I would have lost my patience.... especially with the cat issue.

Fuckers. fuckers. fuckers.

When I get drunk I dance (badly), sing (also badly), smoke too many cigarettes (badly, I usually break them or burn the wrong end) and then eventually I just get really quiet and smile, a lot

 
At 3:49 PM, Blogger S. said...

Sorry about the roommate situation. Roommates are the pits. I say move if at all possible...or ask her to maybe even better.

I'm glad this picture of the stall etc didn't show the poop. ewww!

 
At 6:09 PM, Blogger Tea & Margaritas in My Garden said...

Afraid I would have slugged the nasty piece too, if I saw cruelty to the poor kitty.

tea
xo

 
At 1:06 PM, Blogger Tumuli said...

So much idiocy at once.

 
At 6:48 AM, Blogger sAssY brOwn said...

Roomates are brutal no matter what. I've even lived with friends & it took a long time for our friendship to recover over. However, the behaviour of those guys in NOT normal. They sound totally hateful & violent. I myself would have flown into a rage & escalated the situation. I think Nikkie should 100% without a doubt tell her she has to leave.
I'm filled with rage just reading that!!!!!

 
At 12:48 PM, Blogger ROENTGEN said...

Since I really do love cats I would never do anything like that, nor smile at it, but better snap at people doing something like this, or poking them. With a knife. Having Sex. Yeah.

 
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