Of Morons and Other Oddities

It’s been a couple of long and hectic weeks hence the lack of a posts in the last week but I really would like to thank everyone for their birthday wishes. A few of you wanted to know how I essentially got by without a birth certificate and the short answer is that I filled out some forms, got other people to fill out forms, showed proof I was baptised in Canada and then got issued one.

Now I could (bore)regale you with stories of woe and peril from work but I thought I would (save you the boredom)hold you in suspense. Instead I will share an experience from my weekend. The most memorable part of the weekend had to be spending it with the Pie but not only because she’s fabulous, but because her roommate, Turdington, is a moron. You see, she had asked Pie if she could have a few people over for the evening since it was her birthday. Pie, being the gem that she is said okay and was even nice enough to say that a couple of people could stay over as long as they were not obnoxious. Pie, then went to work and I read and watched some T.V in her room. Her adorable little cat made it’s way out of the room and I decided to go get something to drink and waded through the crowd of about 15-20 people to find one of the them locking the cat in its cage and teasing/poking it. At this point I wanted to confront th individual but I thought it may make the Pie’s living situation worse than it would be upon her return. I then took the cat and spent the night holed up in her room.

The crowd decided to leave at some point to hit up a club which just so happened to be shortly before I went to pick up the Pie. Upon my emerging from the room the place was a total disaster, I cleaned up a little bit so that the Pie would not have to wade through peoples crap and went to pick her up. Upon our return the pie was upset due to the state of things but we still managed to spend some time together and catch up on the week’s events.

Fast forward to 3 a.m when Turdington stumbles in with her friend, boyfriend and 2 other (pricks)young males. They spend several minutes shouting and saying things like the Pie can go fuck herself and suck a dick. The reasons for this were and still remain unknown as we happened to be asleep and had not interacted with them. This was said by one of the (pricks) young males several times. My underestimate is approximately 50 times with Turdington doing little if anything to quite them down. When we think that perhaps they have quieted down the one prick young man starts pounding on the roommate’s door telling her b/f to “murder” her repeatedly. They later start pounding on the door asking about a cab that was supposed to come. The cab eventually comes and they leave at 4: 30 a.m, leaving the door open in the middle of the night in the process.

However, they returned at 6:45 a.m pounding at the door screaming why the f the door is locked. They continue this for a long period of time before the roommate decides to let them in. At one point the cat gets out of the room and the one (prick)young man yells kill it. This leads the pie to rush out and grab the cat and confine it again to the room. Later around 9 a.m the roommate runs into Pie and Pie tells Turdington that she’s not happy with the way things were and the one guy is an idiot. He the(prick)young man and they leave. I was forbidden from interacting with the intruders as it was thought that this might result in an escalation of matters (this was indeed a good idea).

So as you can imagine both myself and Pie are very tired. These events lead me to ask you folks some questions that might have interesting answers. Do you or your friends find yourself hurting or plotting the death of small animals when you get drunk? How do you act when your drunk, myself I tend to smile and laugh more but have never wanted to kill a cat. What can one do when their roommate brings home idiots? What is the worst thing you’ve done while drunk? Do you tend to spend time with people like this? At what age is one to old to have friends like that? When did murder become a synonym for sex? When they guy yelled out that he was going to kill the cat did that mean he was going to have sex with it or maybe just go to thirdbase? Why the heck do I say one so often?

On another note what the heck is with this stall in the bowling alley I went to yesterday? Could there possibly be a good reason to have both a stall and toilet beside one another? Perhaps it has something to do with male bonding.