Of Molecular Turtles and Other Oddities

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Strange New World

I would really like to thank everyone for their happy birthday wishes. This year’s birthday was better than most except it was distinctly lacking in the Pea factor. Also I would like to give a special thank you to Ruben who was kind enough to take me to the Keg for dinner on the day itself. Another interesting outing was the day afterwards when my class mates were also nice enough to take me out for drinks, although I think they were secretly hoping that after enough shots I would self destruct. For those of you that were waiting for an update as to whether I got a chocolate cake my family got me a cappuccino cake, which I consider a victory as it’s somewhere in between chocolate and vanilla. Luckily Nikki, came through in a big way with not only a chocolate cake but with one covered with Cadbury mini eggs. I had a great weekend with her and can’t wait for my next one!

Now due to popular demand I will briefly go over my shady origins. It is my belief to this day, that I was either adopted or stolen from an affluent Jewish family. The evidence for this has been prevalent throughout my life.

Exhibit 1:
Most people feel as though they are very different from others in their family and this is also the case with me. This ranges from things like height, where I am taller than the other members in my family, to my interests. Strangely, almost everyone I meet thinks that I have a Jewish heritage rather than an Italian one. In fact at one point I went out with a Jewish girl and she had assumed that I was Jewish.

Exhibit 2:

As with most Italian families we have a very large one. Upon meeting me at a gathering I was told by many people that although they knew my parents had a daughter they had never heard of them having a son!

Exhibit 3:

In Italian families when your born you usually get something like a knitted plaque with your birthday written on it. I have several of these plaques however my date of birth ranges from 1980-1983

Exhibit 4:

There is a strange gap in my photo evolution. You see I mysteriously appear with my family in photos at the age of about 3 or 4.

Exhibit 5:

I do not have a birth certificate. When I questioned my family about this disturbing fact I was told they were not given one at the hospital when I was born.

The afore mentioned exhibits lead me to believe I was stolen from an affluent Jewish family. If I were adopted I would at least have a birth certificate. With that I throw it to you my readers given the evidence and my picture what do you think!


At 4:03 PM, Blogger Dale said...

Couldn't it have been a poor Jewish family?

Mmmm Cadbury eggs on cake? Someone at work brought in cupcakes one day with peanut butter cups sticking out the top.

At 4:42 PM, Blogger Nikki P. said...

As long as you're not a cantankerous construction worker from Woodbridge, I'm okay with your Italianism.
You don't have to hide it by curling your sideburns and shunning my Friday pork chops.

At 9:34 PM, Blogger Yokoso said...

Wow! MT- Is that true? If so, have you talked to your parents about this fact too...that is about why they have no baby pictures of you and so forth??? I would be curious to hear what they have to say? And yes from your photo you do look a little Jewish but you also look a bit Italian...I'm comparing you to that Italian Chef in Italy...now what's his name?...Oh I can't remember but you look like him, minus the glasses. And he was quite tall too!

Anyhow that is so sad that you don't feel that the family you "know" as family don't feel like family!!! If it helps, even when you do know your family sometimes they even don't feel like family! So don't worry about it...I however, would be a little concerned with not knowing the actual year I was born and date and all that...to not know how old you are exactly must be so frusterating!!! I'm glad I at least know that (1980 for me)...well,,,hey, we're around the same age I gather so woohoo for the 80's, hey?!!!

Oh Lord I pray for Mt's parents and or family members that they would be honest enough with this now man of theirs that they've brought up...Oh Lord may MT come to know his true family and/or feel accepted in the family he currently has otherwise send him people that will be like family to him. Thank-you Holy Spirit for protecting him this far and if his parents are hiding a haunting past that they are even too scared to talk about I pray that you would enable them to come to peace with it and to rest in knowing that all is well today, with MT and his life! AMEN~

Thanks for filling up my bucket-MT!!!

l8er t8er...mmm t8ers
Your E-Sistaa,

At 10:34 PM, Blogger Yokoso said...

Ok Jeff found it for me...here is that Italian guy that I think you look like...

At 10:41 PM, Blogger Library Mama said...

This is hilarious, Turtle! I love it. I, myself, am a fourth child, so, like you, no (or very few, anyway) photos exist of me as an infant. I have three boys now, and very few photos exist of my third. I swore I would be different from my parents, but life and busy-ness happened, and I fell into the same trap.

Anyway, many happy returns (belated). I hope you had a great day.

At 2:56 AM, Blogger Tea & Margaritas in My Garden said...

Cappuccino cake sounds good to me! Maybe you look a wee bit Jewish but definately Italian too.
Happy Birthday!


At 3:43 AM, Blogger Shionge said...

Yo MT - Glad that you enjoyed your Birthday cake and from this post, I can see that you did have a great time :D

Hmm....whatever it is about your past MT, I do know you have great eyes & great smile too :D

At 4:41 AM, Blogger BerryBird said...

Not having a birth cetrificate is definitely disturbing. I think I might try to track that down, if for no other reason than you might actually need it, to get a passport for example. I live in the states and have been using my birth certificate for years to get into Canada, but not for much longer, I'll need that passport soon, too. Finding the birth certificate would settle your date of birth anyway. Mine does not show my parents though, which I always thought a bit odd.

Glad you had a good birthday, however old you are!

At 11:04 AM, Blogger Dino aka Katy said...

cool you won on the Bd cake front!!! Sounds like your bd was awesome. As for your theory I think you should investigate it. And YOU NEED a birth certificate so get on it and tell us what you discover

At 2:18 PM, Blogger Nikki P. said...

Day 2. I miss you.

At 5:58 AM, Blogger sAssY brOwn said...

alrighty, that is curious. Don't you need a birth certificate to get a SIN & Health card? Have you ever asked your parents about it? Do they seem capable of doing something shady & secretive? You totally need answers! (unless you're just kidding about all this).

At 12:34 PM, Blogger Blue the Spa Girl said...

Mo Turt,
I don't know what to think. Jewish and wealthy? Oi vay!

At 5:02 PM, Blogger Tumuli said...

Chocolate-egg covered cakes and mysterious origins. Nothing better!

At 12:42 AM, Blogger ROENTGEN said...

Mysterious bubbly easter my friend.

Strange things happening around you (you feel it? And I don't mean the jewish dog that currently's licking your feet)... huh...

At 5:25 AM, Blogger dbv said...

ummm... you're adopted... i have a birth certificate and still think i'm adopted!! i couldn't possibly be related to those people!!!

At 3:47 PM, Blogger natalie said...

Many happy returns on your birthday!

At 10:27 PM, Blogger S. said...

Happy Be-lated Birthday! You are who you are and you always will be. Lucky for that.

At 1:54 PM, Blogger Coaster Punchman said...

I was going to say what Dale said. If they were affluent they would have had guards to protect you from being stolen.

At 1:12 PM, Blogger Mark said...

If you're ever going to come to the United States, you'll need a passport. We gotta keep out them terr'rists and ee-leeguls, y'know. I'm not sure of the Canadian rules, but U.S. rules require you to have proof of citizenship, and a birth certificate is the best there is.
Happy Birthday, M-T, however many it is.


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