Strange New World

I would really like to thank everyone for their happy birthday wishes. This year’s birthday was better than most except it was distinctly lacking in the Pea factor. Also I would like to give a special thank you to Ruben who was kind enough to take me to the Keg for dinner on the day itself. Another interesting outing was the day afterwards when my class mates were also nice enough to take me out for drinks, although I think they were secretly hoping that after enough shots I would self destruct. For those of you that were waiting for an update as to whether I got a chocolate cake my family got me a cappuccino cake, which I consider a victory as it’s somewhere in between chocolate and vanilla. Luckily Nikki, came through in a big way with not only a chocolate cake but with one covered with Cadbury mini eggs. I had a great weekend with her and can’t wait for my next one!


Now due to popular demand I will briefly go over my shady origins. It is my belief to this day, that I was either adopted or stolen from an affluent Jewish family. The evidence for this has been prevalent throughout my life.



Exhibit 1:
Most people feel as though they are very different from others in their family and this is also the case with me. This ranges from things like height, where I am taller than the other members in my family, to my interests. Strangely, almost everyone I meet thinks that I have a Jewish heritage rather than an Italian one. In fact at one point I went out with a Jewish girl and she had assumed that I was Jewish.

Exhibit 2:

As with most Italian families we have a very large one. Upon meeting me at a gathering I was told by many people that although they knew my parents had a daughter they had never heard of them having a son!

Exhibit 3:

In Italian families when your born you usually get something like a knitted plaque with your birthday written on it. I have several of these plaques however my date of birth ranges from 1980-1983

Exhibit 4:

There is a strange gap in my photo evolution. You see I mysteriously appear with my family in photos at the age of about 3 or 4.

Exhibit 5:

I do not have a birth certificate. When I questioned my family about this disturbing fact I was told they were not given one at the hospital when I was born.

The afore mentioned exhibits lead me to believe I was stolen from an affluent Jewish family. If I were adopted I would at least have a birth certificate. With that I throw it to you my readers given the evidence and my picture what do you think!