Any Bet's On The Next Time I Get A Call From Guido?

They say that instances of extreme trauma or stress that one seems to have their consciousness separated from their body. This was the case yesterday at the Guido’s wedding, however, it was definitely an interesting experience. I decided that I would at least try to have a good time. I finally found out why I was invited to be a part of this thing. Guido told me that it was because I’m the funniest guy he knows and that would lighten the mood and that I’m also the life of a party and that’s important. I still don’t like him but at least I don’t hate him as much. His bride is another matter thought. She yelled at me to hand out seeds at the church service. When I asked what kind of seeds they were she yelled at me further and said they Snapdragons and they represented the wedding and the planting of the seed of love. I then told her I hope not as after planting Snapdragons they grow, blossom and die within one year. I then went to the hall and had a sandwich.

The ceremony was also interesting as the priest could not getthe new Guidos name right and used a different one several times. In fact during the ceremony he asked if Guido would take Lesley, which is his sister’s name, as his wife. Another interesting happening was after the ceremony in the basement of the church were some food was available to make sandwiches for yourself. The new Ms. Guido demanded Guido make her a sandwich, when he returned with the sandwich she pushed it back at him and said “You know I won’t eat this go back and do it right this time”. It looks like they have years of happiness ahead of them.

I also learned that the people in the wedding party were not the brightest bulbs in the bunch. Here are a few quotes as well as conversation excerpts from the evening.

Bridesmaid: “I don’t know how you can eat meat and call yourself a scientist, you should know how bad it is on the environment”
MT: “Yes, I know however, I try to make up for it in other ways. Like not driving excessively”
BM: “I love driving I have a new hummer and an SUV”

BM: “I wish we were in the southern hemisphere, like in Florida or something”

The song Mad World comes on in the Limo. I sarcastically say this is definitely a wedding song. The wedding party listens closely to the lyrics for a few moments

“All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
And their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying:
They're the best I've ever had”

They all agree it is very beautiful and should be played as a song for the bride and groom to dance to. It is later requested.

DJ to new Guido: “Can you describe how you feel right now?”
New Guido: in a cold robotic voice and dead eyes “I am filled with emotions . . . good ones”

Maid of Honour: “MT, I got up today at 4:30 this morning and I know I won’t go to bed until 4:30, that’s almost 12 hours!”
MT: “I think it’s a tad more than that”
Usher: “I told you he’s smart I bet he can do the math in his head right now”
MT: “It’s 24 hours”

That's just a sampling, I think I may share more as time goes on. Stay tooned next week as my birthday it’s Tuesday and next week’s blog instalment will cover the story of my supposed birth into an Italian family.