Of Molecular Turtles and Other Oddities

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Liquid smoke = Yummy goodness


As everyone knows it’s world cup time which means it’s time for me to question my origins. How you ask are these two things connected? Well as everyone knows Italy is facing France and I don’t really care who wins. This supports the mounting case for the theory my parents stole me from some other family as a young child. If you think this is ridiculous here’s the case. I’m the only person I know of that doesn’t have a birth certificate, after asking my mom the reply was they forgot to give me one. There is a gap in the photo album (entitled the evolution of Andrew), I mysteriously appear at the age of about 3 or 4 in the family records. Strangely I also have several knitted items that say birthday baby, but they’re all from different years. The funniest thing though was that at a family wedding last week a relative told me he never knew my dad has a son but knew my sister was born in 1984. So this raises several important questions that I could use some help answering: What’s my nationality? Do I really look Italian? Am I really Jewish? Can I escape looking like Flanders (see below)? Am I bound to get fat and wear wife beater shirts?

4 Comments:

At 3:04 PM, Blogger Nik said...

Jewish!

 
At 8:50 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

Know matter the nationality, I think you're required to wear the wife beater. (don't forget the mustard stains)

 
At 9:07 PM, Blogger Ms Zebra said...

hmm.. origins. sounds serious. however, I cant help but to laugh when reading this post - like, right after i posted that i wanted to be Italian. LOL.

 
At 11:24 AM, Blogger Molecular Turtle said...

I think Italian women have it better off than guys. Italian guys tend to gain like 600 pounds upon marriage and wear the afore mentioned wife beaters.

 

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